Here Comes the Hurly-Burly

 Eeeek. Storms are coming! Plural, as in two. Laura and Marco are moving into the Gulf of Mexico, and I feel like they really should be called Sid & Nancy because that’s about how badly behaved I expect them to be. A poisonous Wild Child Couple smashing up the place along with whoever and whatever is in their path. Gosh, I really hope some of you are old enough to get that punk rock reference. Anyway, I took myself and my wonky knee to the store pretty early this morning to get Necessary Supplies. Because everybody knows if a storm is coming, you’d best have Supplies. But there are two storms coming. At the same time. I don’t even know what to do with that information!

This is my first summer back in Texas in five years, and once I was in the store this morning I realized that I may have forgotten how to Do Hurricanes. I missed Harvey a couple of years ago, but worried from the sidelines up north for my friends and family here. I know it was a huge mess, and having grown up a mere sixty miles from the Gulf of Mexico, I’ve definitely seen my share of flooding and the devastation that tropical storms and hurricanes can bring. So yeah, I have a healthy respect for these whirling weather phenomena. But what the hell am I supposed to do about two of them? Did I mention they’re coming AT THE SAME TIME? Crimin-ee. If you were gonna buy four gallons of water, what now? Eight? Sixteen? It’s like the toilet paper thing back in March. 

Everyone has a different Necessary Supplies List. I mean, we all know you’re supposed to fill up your gas tank and make sure you have meds and flashlights and batteries and bottled water and Important Documents and a hotel reservation somewhere up north (wait, I forgot about that one, damn), but I’m talking about the all-important Snack section of the Necessary Supplies List. Technically, you’re supposed to be able to live off of these non-perishable foodstuffs for several days in the event of a long-term power outage. But we all know they’re Snacks. Criteria: non-perishable (as previously noted), portable, easily discernible from a bag of oatmeal in the dark, delicious and capable of distracting you from the God-awful heat and humidity you’re stewing in because...God Forbid It...the power is out and so no air conditioning. So basically a Twinkie works well here. You might even have one or two leftover from Hurricane Harvey! They’re perfectly fine, trust me. You can go for some token trace amounts of nutrition, but what you’re really after here is the distraction-from-no-A/C factor. This is critical. Also important - some form of coffee. If the power’s out, your Keurig or Mr. Coffee is just gonna be staring back at you from the kitchen counter. Useless. Just like the A/C. This is when you want to whip out that cold bottle of Starbucks Frappuccino from the ice chest and unwrap your Twinkie. That right there is a Breakfast of Champions.

Ok, back to my story. So there I was, limping around Kroger in the Not-Cold-Foods aisle, wracking my brain for what to get, when I spied a big box of Fruit Snacks. I put my hands on it, and when I tell it spoke to me, I am not kidding.  And what the Oracle said was this:  popcorn.  Then it all came rushing back to me!  Popcorn! And sweet potato chips, jelly beans, fruit snacks, Starbucks Frappuccino in bottles, bread and peanut butter and jelly. Grapes and granola bars. Oranges and apples, paper plates and lots and lots of water! 

Some of my Necessary Snacks.  Well yes, as a matter of fact, I have already gotten into the Fruit Snacks.  Your point?

Couldn’t find any flashlights, but I found these plain janes mixed in with all of the saint candles, so that’s fun!

Right now the storm forecast models show Laura and Marco doing a weird tango in and out of each other before sitting one on top of the other as they make landfall. Good. Grief.

So now’s the time:  get your stuff organized, get your Necessary Supplies and don’t forget those Snacks!

Stay safe, stay optimistic and look after each other.

❤️ Bonnie